7 Days in Twilight Town
by muffinmonkeys
Summary: Roxas lives a normal-ish life, it sure is nice that strange monsters, men in black, a witch, and his own dreams make it interesting! A nonsensical and overall odd comedy about the first few hours of "Kingdom Hearts II".


I obviously don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters, which is why it's called a "fan fiction". This is a comedy made out of love of the series. It was intended to be a comedy for fans of the series and I am not trying to bash Kingdom Hearts in any way.

The story is a parody of the first few hours of "Kingdom Hearts II" where the player controls Roxas. This is intended for people familiar with the story (hence the lack of descriptions). It is just stupid random humor so if you're not in to that kind of thing than this probably isn't for you.

Here is a content break down for those unsure about if this is appropriate or not:

Some sexual references

Use of the "S" word (3 uses)

Use of the "F" word (2 uses)

Some minor coarse language

Non-Graphic fantasy violence

Crude humor

**7 Days in Twilight Town **

The story begins with our hero Sora…

Roxas: Missing! I'm Roxas, I live in the always twilight world of Twilight Town, where did we get the name? Well I sure don't know. I wonder what my friends are doing at the usual spot.

**THE 1st DAY**

Hayner: Yo Roxas we were just talking about how smart I am!

Pence: Don't worry you didn't miss anything.

Olette: Have you guys heard about all the stuff that's been stolen around town?

Hayner: Yeah, and that idiot Seifer is blaming us for it too. I hate that guy, ever since school when he messed up my hair and stole my lunch munny and ate my ADD medicine and sicked his dog on me and… *trails off*

Roxas: Yeah I hate him too, he sucked in FFVIII

Pence: What?

Roxas: Oh nothing (oh the noes almost made a continuity paradox o.0)

Pence: Worst of all our _ are gone

Roxas: Whoa! What?

Pence: Our _ are gone!

Olette: Wow, I didn't know our dialogue could be censored… SHIT! Oh! What the hell?

Producer of Kingdom Hearts: We're aiming for a "T" rating right?

muffinmonkeys: Shut up!

Pence: No! Our _!

Olette: So what, is like "Mad Libs" or something?

Roxas: That sounds fun!

Hayner: Pick a noun!

Olette: Ok uh…

Hayner: PENIS!

Pence: No it's our precious _! Our _ are gone! The thief stole them and the word itself!

Roxas: …what?

Hayner: I understand now! The thief stole our _ and the word _ itself!

Pence: Yeah that's exactly what I just said…

Hayner: Come on guys! My brilliant plan to get back the _ is to catch the thief!

Olette: Ingenious.

Narrator: At the sandlot…

Fuu: Thieves!

Rai: Yeah, what Fuu said y'know straight up gansta word to the mother and word to the dictionary where da words at!

Roxas: What's your name again? Rye? Like the bread?

Rai: Uhhh… (Better change the subject y'know?) Hey Fuu! Why you always talk in one or two word sentences y'know?

Fuu: If

Fuu: I

Fuu: Don't

Fuu: Then

Fuu: I

Fuu: Catastrophe

Rai: Right then…

Seifer: Aha! The criminals always return to the scene of the crime!

Roxas: You're here so that makes you the criminal right?

Seifer: No! That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you lamers!

Hayner: That's a lie! _He actually only owned Roxas…_

Seifer: So what'd you do with it? Burn it? Sell it? Eat it?

Hayner: I've heard enough time to fight!

Pence: He said what, two lines of text?

Hayner: We'll take you on!_ And by we I mean Roxas…_

Seifer: Ha! As you can clearly see I have a weapon and you don't! *pulls STRUGGLE rod out of thin air*

Pence: Actually all I see is text.

Roxas: Stop breaking the fourth wall Pence!

Seifer: You're helpless without a weapon! Prepare for foam padded pain!

Roxas: Conveniently there are three weapons lying on the street right here… I'll just take the club.

Seifer: Stupid hero conveniences… Fine let's fight!

Roxas: Fight? What? I beat you like, five seconds ago.

Seifer: GRRRRRRR SNAGAPOIENGOAIEGBOABV!

Rai: Uhhh… Seifer ain't feelin' too hot today, influenza and all y'know?

Fuu: Tournament decides.

Olette: What the heck does that mean? Who writes this girl's stuff?

Pence: Hey Roxas, mind if I snap a _ of your victory? *does so*

Roxas: Wait I'm _genic!

Dusk: Why hello pansies! What a lovely camera you have there. I think I will **TAKE IT!** *TAKES IT!*

Hayner: What in the unholy name of Satan was that?

Olette: The thief?

Pence: No really?

Hayner: Okay, my next brilliant plan would be to follow that thing into the mansion where it was headed and then send Roxas on his own to catch it. Aren't I a jenius?

Roxas: Yeah Hayner, you're so smart you spelled genius wrong. Don't worry I'll handle this, what could happen to me all on my own?

Dusk: **SHIT COULD HAPPEN** *proceeds to let shit happen on Roxas's face*

Roxas: Man! I can't even hit this thing! What are you?

Dusk: "What" is a rather rude question; I am R.E. Duskington of the London Duskingtons. We hailed from the southern part of England till the Scathing Revolution of 1427 in which we were a valuable member of the resistance. Together with the Scottish, twelve hound dogs, and an Irish shoe maker, we overthrew the established government and…

Roxas: Skip to the part where I give a damn.

Dusk: That's probably when I stole your camera, my liege…

Roxas: What?

Keyblade: I APPEARED YO.

Roxas: What is this thing? A key?

Keyblade: No, who told you that?

Dusk: Can we fight now please?

Roxas: Oh yeah sorry

* Roxas swings Keyblade, kills Dusk, slow motion takes place, you drool from awesome*

Roxas: Hey he turned into photos. GASP! I can say "PHOTOS"

Pence: Hey has anyone noticed all these pictures are of Roxas?

Hayner: LET'S EAT ICE CREAM!

Narrator: That night in a top secret underground facility (the underground part is very important, you can't possibly hope to be top secret above ground)

DiZ: Organization poopies, after all this time of playing hide and seek, they've found us

Computer: Restoration at 19%

DiZ: What? Namine's been working at this for a year and she only has 19%? Pick it up little girly!

**THE 2nd DAY**

Roxas: I suppose I should mention that I've been having these peculiar dreams about a boy named Sora. He also had these two other weirdoes with him, Donald and Goofy. I swear I've seen them on TV; Sora must be a celebrity like a movie director or somethin'… Ah yes, and the Keyblade. Hmm… I wonder if picking up this stick will give me the Keyblade?

Stick: So I heard you were having wet dreams about a boy. Care to elaborate?

Roxas: Eat wall *throws backwards towards wall, hits a mysterious hooded man by accident*

Guy: Ow.

Roxas: Uhhh… sorry about that, you ok?

Guy: Yes, no harm done. It was an accident I don't hold grudges.

Roxas: That's good to know.

Narrator: At the usual spot…

Hayner: Why ya'll so bummed? Because summer vacation is almost over right?

Pence: Do you like answering your own questions?

Hayner: Well I say we go to the beach! Why? Go ahead, guess why!

Pence: I'm guessing you're going to answer your own question.

Hayner: DAMN STRAIGHT! We're going cause I say so!

Olette: How are we going to afford tickets? Have you forgotten we're broke?

Hayner: Have you forgotten I'm smart?

Pence: Well actually…

Hayner: LET'S PLAY SOME MINI-GAMES CHILDREN!

Narrator: After a long string of time consuming mini-games…

Roxas: That was soooooooo boring…

Olette: Hey guess what? I read the strategy guide and you don't have to play those games at all! They're just for fun!

Roxas: Damn you Square Enix! How dare you try to make me have fun!

Olette: …Well that aside we now have 5000 munny! Hold the bag Roxas.

Roxas: Got it! Alright let's go- *WHACK* *falls over*

Guy: As I was saying, I don't hold grudges… for long.

Roxas: Owww… Anyone get the number on the truck that hit me?

Guy: Sure did he's right here.

Stick: Have anymore dreams, guy? Haw Haw Haw…

Roxas: *breaks stick*

Guy: That wasn't very nice.

Roxas: And throwing a stick at me is ok?

Guy: Can you feel, Sora?

Roxas: What?

Hayner: Roxas! Get off your rump and stop talking to yourself!

Roxas: Sure, sure… wait, where'd that guy go?

Hayner: Four tickets please!

Cashier: That'll be four thousand munny.

Hayner: Four thousand? What happened to the weekend discount?

Cashier: It's Wednesday.

Hayner: Point being?

Cashier: … Four thousand munny please.

Hayner: Fine, Roxas pass me the dough.

Roxas: Sure… Wait… The munny's gone! That guy must have taken it!

Pence: Guy? There was no guy Roxas, I think you're trippin'.

Roxas: I ain't trippin'! *trips*

*train leaves*

Pence: Oh boy…

That Guy Who Says Stuff to Make the Scene Change: Later on top of the station tower…

Pence: Two questions: How did we get up here and how in the name of god did we pay for this ice cream?

Hayner: Pay? _Sluuuuuuuuuurp…_

Olette: Don't worry we'll make the beach tomorrow!

Roxas: Who was that man in black?

Hayner: Who cares about men in black when you have friends!

Will Smith: I care very much about "Men in Black" man.

Hayner: Agreed, it was a good movie.

Olette: Oh! That's a pun!

Pence: Oy… You think we'll always be together like this?

Hayner: No, shut up.

Pence: Damn Hayner, thanks for taking this emotional scene for yourself. It's not like anyone out there thinks my character is significant at all at this point.

Hayner: I'm going for that promotion baby! Maybe they'll give me a lead role in KH-III!

Roxas: Doubt it.

Narrator: That night in the underground top secret facility…

Computer: Restoration at 28%

DiZ: That's more like it! Go girly go!

Guy: Tell me again why I stole the munny?

DiZ: Creating a beach would just create another entry point, another place Roxas could be attacked.

Guy: Oh yes, with all of the one Nobodies that have attacked him at this point, which he destroyed easily by the way, god forbid we let him have any fun at all.

DiZ: You got that right.

Guy: So what do I do with this?

DiZ: Well you could always buy some ice cream. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Guy: I'm glad you enjoyed that sentence.

DiZ: HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHA!... But seriously, don't let objects from that town get outside.

Guy: Got it.

**THE 3rd DAY**

Roxas: Another day, another dream about Sora, and some girl named Kai… Hey what's this?

Letter: Roxas! I sto- urr… FOUND some tickets to the beach! Get to the station ya late-sleeping fruit-loop!

-Hugs and kisses, Hayner

Roxas: I find it odd that Hayner didn't erase the "stole" part.

Olette: Hey Roxas!

Pence: Olette threatened to kill my parents unless I go shopping with her.

Roxas: Sounds scarring.

Pence: Well at first all I did was carry the bags till- *time stops*

Roxas: What the-

Namine: Hello Roxas.

Roxas: Hello.

Namine: Follow me.

Roxas: Um, no.

Namine: Why not?

Roxas: Time just fucking stopped; give me a minute to repair my exploded brain please.

Namine: *walks off*

*Time unfreezes*

Pence: -and there was something strong coming out of my butt on the way home.

Roxas: Guys did you see a… never mind.

Olette: See you at the station Roxas!

Roxas: Where did that girl go?

Dusk: Chasing girls now are we? Last I heard you were having wet dreams about a duck.

Roxas: Oh my god it's Duskington!

Dusk: That is correct my liege! This time I brought friends! Sick'um lads!

Roxas: To the sandlot! ...Why am I telling myself this?

Seifer: Hey chicken wuss!

Roxas: Damn it Seifer I don't have time for your three year old insults!

Seifer: Them's ass whooping words!

Vivi: Oh dear. Seifer, an ominous force approaches. Allow me the liberty of screaming and hiding.** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

Rai: There are too many of um' y'know? I will write my will now!

Fuu: Death.

Namine: Roxas, it might help if you used the Keyblade.

Roxas: Would you happen to have a stick I could borrow?

Dusk: Onward resistance! Let us topple this corrupt monarchy!

Narrator: At the moment things looked most dire, Roxas is teleported to a mysterious area surrounded by darkness…

**STATION OF SERENITY**

Roxas: Thanks title! If only I knew where that was…

Disembodied Voice: Choose a weapon…

Roxas: Should I take the sword for power? Or should I take the shield for defense? The club I took earlier gives me a small attack boost. I could take the shield and be even physically, but my magic would suffer, or I could take the sword and be all offensive, or…

Disembodied Voice: CHOOSE!

Roxas: Ok! Ok! *chooses sword, Keyblade appears*

Dusk: You shall not escape my liege! Our rights shall be secured! We will release the embargo on France and begin prosperous trading once again!

Roxas: You still think it's the revolution don't you?

Dusk: Life's a revolution!

Artsy Person: Write that down! Write that down!

Writing Person: Got it!

Roxas: *kills Dusk*

Twilight Thorn: I herd there wa some die here meh liek flesh.

Roxas: And apparently you don't like grammar.

Twilight Thorn: Meh pawnch yelow fuzz ball!

Roxas: *runs around screaming out of sheer terror, you ever been pawnched? Not fun.*

Twiligh Thorn: It tru blonds have more fun.

Roxas: Blond jokes? That's it! You're dead!

Narrator: Several "Reaction Commands" later…

Twilight Thorn: uuurrrrrggggg…. *falls on Roxas*

Roxas: Oh great, another day ends with a big white monster dead on top of me.

Seifer: Care to explain poop head?

Roxas: Well you see one day when I was visiting Canada-

Hayner: OH MY GOD!

Roxas: Oh hey Hayner.

Hayner: What's this right here?

Roxas: I just woke up here.

Hayner: OH! Having a slumber party with your buds huh? Did Seifer lend you his Balamb Garden pajamas? Were you sleeping with Fuu while Rai watched and posted it on the internet? Did you use Vivi as a pillow and watch movies about emotional break ups while eating bon bons out of Rai's pocket? Huh? You little girly girl man boy! I'm done with you!

Rai: He makes three year old jokes too y'know…

Fuu: Similarity.

Seifer: I don't know what you're talking about. Hey butt cheeks! Does he do that all the time?

Roxas: Ohhhhhhhh yeah.

Namine: Roxas, do you remember you're true name?

Roxas: I'll take a wild stab at… Roxas?

Namine: No.

Roxas: Damn.

Guy: Sorry this plot revelation will have to be put on hold.

Roxas: Holy crap it's a Nazgul!

Guy: I am offended. *opens dark door and throw Roxas in*

Narrator: You know where the next scene is. I don't have to tell you.

Computer: Restoration at 48%

DiZ: She what?

Guy: I stopped her just in time but she was bout to spill the beans in a metaphorical sense. The plate of beans she was eating was quite fine.

DiZ: Hmm… As long as she hasn't said anything we should be safe. We needn't worry about what befalls Roxas.

Guy: That's cold.

DiZ: A Nobody does not have the right to live, and when it defies that law then they are impeding on our rights dammit! It's not fair! I work real hard! Harder than anybody else! I'm very underpaid too! I mean I know I pay myself but I'm a stingy old curmudgeon! It's just not fair! Why should he have an easy life when he doesn't have the right! Right? It's just not right!

Guy: Right… I mean yes.

**THE 4th DAY**

Roxas: Today is the day of the big STRUGGLE tournament that Hayner and I were entering… did I forget to mention that? We were going to split the prize and share it together. Wow, that sounds important; I guess I should have told you earlier.

Gamer: Says here you talked about the tournament in Day 2, nice job.

Roxas: Well it doesn't matter, Hayner hates me and I can't stop thinking about those dreams. Things couldn't possibly be any more emotionally draining. How was the beach guys?

Pence: We didn't go.

Roxas: Ah, I shed another tear.

Olette: The tickets Hayner "found" were stolen; we had to sell part of his hair to pay off the legal fees.

Roxas: I didn't know hair was worth that much, where is the outlaw?

Pence: At the sandlot for the tournament

Narrator: At the sandlot for tournament…

Announcer: The first match is Hayner and Roxas.

Hayner: Well who would of thunk?

Roxas: My emotions have just been upped to "Twilight Saga" level.

Hayner: You still hung up about that?

Roxas: No, I got over it after beating you a second ago.

Hayner: GOD DAMMIT!

Olette: Way to take it like a man Hayner.

Hayner: Yes… and like a man I keep my bromances strong… right Roxas?

Roxas: Oh hell yes. *bro-hugs*

Announcer: Next match is Seifer and Vivi.

Vivi: _Roooooooxxxxxxaaaaaaaasssss…_

Seifer: Let's go pipsqueak!

Narrator: And Seifer got his ass kicked again…

Seifer: That's not Vivi… Roxas! Take him out burn him up eat the ashes and choke!

Announcer: Roxas and Vivi come together for the final struggle! Ha ha, see how I worked in the title of the tourney as a segue Mr. Director?

Director: Oh I couldn't be happier. That's sarcasm by the way.

Roxas: *in rap* Vivi man I don't mean to be rude, but I'ma beat scrawny yo ass n' then go get me some food.

Olette: The whitest man on the planet ladies and gentleman.

Vivi: _Hehehehehehehehe…_ *time stops, Vivi transforms into Dusk*

Dusk: Miss me?

Roxas: Go away already!

Dusk: Ok *dies*

Axel: Your skills of persuasion are impressive, man.

Roxas: Not another weirdo in black

Axel: The name's Axel, got it memorized?

Roxas: Alex right?

Axel: No. Not that you should need to memorize it anyway, we are best pals.

Roxas: Eh?

Axel: What you don't remember? Fine, I'll bring it out with pain!

Roxas: What is with the increase in things wanting to hurt me this week?

Axel: Oh it's not just this week; things are always out to get you.

Roxas: Eh?

Axel: This town is impressive too… He's a smart one that DiZ.

Roxas: Ah?

Axel: Number XIII, Roxas. The Keyblade's Chosen One.

Roxas: Hey human torch, how bout we start making sense now?

Axel: How bout you come with me, and I'll give you candy?

Roxas: I like candy.

DiZ: Stop Roxas! Don't listen to him!

Roxas: The hell? It's a mummy!

DiZ: Come with me Roxas…

Roxas: Giggedy.

DiZ: Oh for god's sakes… teenagers…

Roxas: Sorry mummy guy but that stranger has candy, so even if either of these choices leads to child molestation, at least I'll be happy.

Axel: Uhh… What?

DiZ: Roxas!

Axel: Roxas!

DiZ: Roxas!

Axel: Roxas!

Roxas: Roxas!

DiZ and Axel: …

Narrator: Time unfroze and Roxas found Vivi defeated with no one else aware of the proceedings.

Announcer: He won! Unbefuckingleavable!

Fans: *CHEER*

Announcer: And now Roxas will take on the reigning champion…

Roxas: Gasp! It's-

Fan girls and Roxas: **SETZER!**

Setzer: Hello ladies!... and queer little boy. Bask in my silver haired manliness!

Roxas: Queer? That's it; let's fight for the champion belt!

Setzer: Oh please, you think you can win? Kid, I've thrown my life to the dice more times than you've gone to the bathroom.

Roxas: Are you making fun of my constipation problem?

Setzer: Hardly, I'm merely saying that there is no way you can win. I am an expert warrior and I star in a "Final Fantasy" game.

Roxas: And I just took you out in ten seconds.

Announcer: Do'h!

Olette: How do we share this trophy?

Roxas: Like this! *breaks off four orbs from trophy* It's supposed to do that right?

Announcer: No.

Roxas: Crap!

Narrator: On the station tower…

Hayner: Hey guys! If you hold up these crystals just right it magnifies the rays of the sun and burns your eyes out!

Pence: How do you know that?

Hayner: Pence? Where are you buddy?

Roxas: I will now proceed with my happy jig.

Olette: Careful of the ledge Roxas.

Roxas: What ledge? *falls* **OH CRAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP!**

Narrator: On a far away island…

Selphie: Kairi!

Kairi: No I'm not going to the island you boob go play with your jump rope!

Selphie: Come on! Tidus and Wakka are too busy having a sausage fest and won't go with me.

Tidus: I SCORED A GOAL MAAAAAN! JECHT SHOT!

WAKKA: CAPS ARE MANLY!

Tidus: My name is pronounced "Tie dus" right?

Wakka: Who cares bro? Give me a me a hug!

Kairi: I'm not going back to the island until I remember the name of that boy we used to play with.

Selphie: You sure you didn't just make him up?

Kairi: Darn it Selphie why must you be so- so… *faints*

Roxas: Yep, I'm still falling.

Kairi: Hello? Is this thing on?

Roxas: Mother?

Kairi: Kairi.

Roxas: Oh you're that girl he likes.

Kairi: Are you him?

Roxas: I'm Roxas.

Kairi: Damn… thought you were him…

Roxas: You know I'm dying right? Falling off the tower?

Kairi: Who cares, you're nobody.

Spoiler Alert Man: That's a pun.

?: Oh come on it's so easy! I'll give you a hint, starts with an "S"

Kairi: GASP! It's you!

Roxas: Alright while you two have your conversation I'll just- *hits the concrete*

Guy: Damn! That looked painful, plastic surgery ain't gonna' help that.

Narrator: At the top secret facility…

DiZ: So "Guy" why are you helping me?

Guy: Shoes.

DiZ: What?

Guy: I like the smell of your big black shoes.

DiZ: Ah yes, indeed.

Narrator: Are you confused yet? I'm confused, and I know what's going to happen for god's sakes.

Selphie: What are you doing Kairi?

Kairi: I made a note for that boy I can't remember, I'm going to put it in this bottle and throw it in the ocean. I know he'll get it.

Selphie: _Yeah right the odds of that happening are like-_

Kairi: *starts to cry*

Selphie: I mean of course he'll get it!

Kairi: I hope so… starts with an "S", right Sora?

Selphie: Selphie.

Kairi: Not you!

**THE 5th DAY**

Roxas: Hey, what happened after I fell off the tower?

Pence: Fell off the tower?

Olette: The fact that we haven't done our summer homework must have fried his brain! If you fell off the tower you'd be a permanent mark on the side walk.

Roxas: Comforting.

Olette: So any ideas for the topic?

Roxas: Why don't we do research on what's been happening to me lately?

All: *silence*

Roxas: Thanks guys.

Pence: How bout we look into the Seven Wonders of Twilight Town?

Hayner: Are they odd ice cream flavors?

Pence: No.

Hayner: THEN FER-GIT IT!

Pence: They say the number of stairs at Sunset Station changes when you go up and down them.

Narrator: On the way to the station…

Roxas: Time for another emotional moment guys, hold up your crystals… wait where is mine?

Guy: Ba ha ha aha ha ha haa haha aha ha haaa…

Roxas: Well, here come those suicide thoughts again, hey, the stairs don't change numbers.

Pence: Yeah the rumor started because Rai can't count.

Hayner: Rip off artist!

Olette: Let's split up and solve them mysteries!

Narrator: Much later…

Roxas: So the mysterious ball was a Dusk. The noises in the tunnel were made by Vivi trying to comb his hair who then turned into a Dusk. The doppelganger was a reflection on water possessed by a Dusk. The moving bag was a Dusk in a dog costume… These wonders have too much dusk. Well at least there is the ghost train.

Seifer: What ghost train is that panty waist?

Hayner: I don't know what a panty waist is, Seifer, but I will take that as a complement.

Roxas: Look there it is!

Thomas: It's Chuga-Chuga Time!

Olette: Roxas that's Thomas the Tank Engine.

Roxas: No behind Thomas! There's another train!

Pence: No there isn't.

Roxas: Great! So I'm delusional again!

Pence: Seems like it. Well there is still the… no never mind.

Roxas: Still what now?

Olette: The last wonder is at the old mansion.

Narrator: Roxas journeyed to the old mansion alone…

Roxas: Nobody home huh Roxas?

Roxas: Nobody home.

Roxas: Well I guess we'll just have to break in ourselves won't we?

Roxas: Indeed.

Pence: Talking to yourself now?

Roxas: I thought you weren't coming.

Pence: And leave you alone? Please, you remember what happened when we watched the Thriller video.

Roxas: Hey that video is really scary when you know Michael Jackson is a dead child molester!

Pence: The rumor is that there is a girl by the left window.

Namine: Present.

Roxas: Found it!

Pence: No one has lived here for years… Stupid rumor really.

Roxas: Is everyone blind in this game? *warped inside mansion*

Namine: Hello again Roxas.

Roxas: What's with all these drawings? Have you been stalking me?

Namine: Basically, yes.

Roxas: Well I'm creeped out now

Namine: Roxas, you and Sora are connected.

Roxas: Like a fraternal twin's type thing, or a Siamese twin type thing?

Namine: You're a Nobody, which is something that is but really isn't and shouldn't be. Oh and you're going to disappear.

Roxas: Why am I attracted to you again?

Namine: I guess the writers didn't like you much.

Narrator: I'm tired of saying the same thing every time we shift to this place. Just take a wild guess folks.

DiZ: She is becoming a problem, this Namine.

Guy: What, just now or in general?

DiZ: To be honest, I'm still curious as to why you are helping out. Who are you?

Guy: Ansem.

DiZ: Ha ha… Indeed.

**THE 6th DAY**

Roxas: So today is the last day of summer, the day we were going to investigate what's been happening to me. At last maybe I can figure things out. Hey guys!

*Roxas walks through his friends, they don't notice*

Roxas: I HATE THIS GAME!

Axel: Get him boys!

Roxas: Oh come on can't we talk about this? We're friends right?

Axel: You remember? That's great! Ok pop quiz, who's our boss?

Roxas: Tetsuya Nomura?

Axel: Yes! N-No. Our other boss.

Roxas: …

Axel: Thought so. Get um!

DiZ: Roxas! To the mansion! It's the climax!

Roxas: Ok but I'm going to fast forward through these next few scenes because no one really cares. They all know I'm screwed at this point.

Narrator: Roxas grabbed a remote control and began fast forwarding through the game...

Nobodies: I can catch hi- GAH *dies*

Narrator: At the mansion…

Namine: We'll see each other again! I know it!

DiZ: Bitch please!

Narrator: In the library…

Symbol: DRAW ME!

Narrator: At the now non-top secret underground facility…

Roxas: Look a top secret underground facility!

Narrator: In a flashback…

Axel: Back story, back story, back story.

Narrator: In the computer room…

Roxas: DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL YOU DAMN COMPUTERS!

Computer: IT'S AN ALTERNATE REALITY. *smashed*

Roxas: Ok time to slow things down again.

Axel: I guess the Roxas I knew is long gone… Regardless, you're coming back whether you like it or not.

Oathkeeper: Not if we have anything to say about it!

Oblivion: OBLIVION!

Axel: Two?

Roxas: Bring it on boomerang guy!

Axel: **RINGS! CHARAKAM RINGS! GET IT RIGHT!**

Narrator: One epic battle later…

Axel: I love you man…

Roxas: Kay bye. Hey isn't that Donald and Goofy? Where am I?

DiZ: In a top secret underground facility you said it yourself.

Roxas: Can't you let me fade into inevitable nothingness in peace?

DiZ: Not till you give back Sora's power, you've been using it for too long. Give it back and then disappear as all Nobodies should.

Roxas: I will kill you now. *attacks DiZ*

DiZ: I suspected you'd do that, this is a prerecorded message with a response to every move you could ever make.

Roxas: GIGGLE FAGGLE POOKY PAW!

DiZ: Ok you got me there; I predicted you would do something I would have no response to, so I made this response.

Roxas: Cheater!

DiZ: Is that a way to spend your last moments? Insults? Enjoy dissipating now; I heard it's quite soothing actually. Tah. *vanishes*

Roxas: Well, that's it then. My story is at an end.

Gamer: What? But I just got used to you! Don't go!

Roxas: I have fans! Yeah!

*A giant pod opens to reveal Sora suspended asleep in mid air.*

Roxas: Sora… guess my summer vacation, is over.

**THE 7th DAY**

**THE END  
**

Thank you for reading and leave a review with feedback if you are so inclined. I realize I left out/ changed some scenes and minor details. I may do other stories like this but not with Kingdom Hearts.


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